Overcome with toxic fumes.

You know those friendships that you really cherish and really want to keep but end up being toxic? The ones that change you into a blubbering kid hiding under the desk instead of your usual confident self. The ones that suck the ever loving life out of you yet you keep bouncing back for more. I find that I have rid myself of almost all those types of relationships in my life but there are a few I just can't seem to dissolve. I have worked extremely hard at building my self up the past few years. Being positive and beginning to love myself for exactly who I am, warts and all. Then one little thing happens and it sends me off into the corner again. It is totally exhausting. My hope is that as I was changing and maturing these people were too and when we meet again things will be different. That the whole make up of our relationship will be more balanced and genuine. That one person doesn't feel and exhibit superiority over the other. The bigger more important question though is why I keep giving the benefit of the doubt to people who are willing to throw me into a cage with a lion and look the other way.