Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My evolution as a Mom.

I was reading something today about a first time Mom declaring that her baby's first birthday cake would be the first sweet treat that she had ever tasted. This made me smile. I remember when I had Caroline 10 years ago. I followed the rules to a T. I treated the pediatrician like God and poured over child rearing books daily. I followed every arbitrary rule ever written about how to raise a baby. When I couldn't get the rule exactly right I felt like a failure. Caroline absorbed my insecurities and anxiety. She was extremely shy as a little girl and stuck to my leg like glue. Preschool was a painful experience for both of us. She cried and cried and I cried and cried. By the time I had my second I was busy with a two year old and so I was a little more lax with the rules. I only consulted the books every other day and didn't call the Dr. every time Olivia coughed or ran a temperature. Olivia is shy too but not as painfully shy as Caroline and she has an easier time with new situations. Three years later my last little bundle of joy arrived. By then I had a 5 year old and a 3 year old and no time to worry or focus on making everything fit into the box. I let her have fries and ice cream by 7months and **eeeekkkkk** even a few sips of pop. She had a pillow in her crib before she turned 1 AND I she watched TV (not just Baby Einstein either!!). We visited the pediatrician only for well baby visits and I am sure she droned on with some sort of wisdom but I don't think I heard her. Amelia is well adjusted and self confident. She does well in new situations and has a wonderful vocabulary.
I love all three of my girls individually and equally but I have to wonder if they popped out of the hatch with their personalities set in stone or if my parenting made them the way they are?

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