I have been a pretty average person all my life. I was an average student in school in most subjects. Just so-so looks wise and lived in a middle class neighborhood. All my life I have sort of blended in with the crowd and been middle of the road in everything that I do. I have always been fine with that and even went to college and got a job with my average existence. I realized something last night after I attended conferences at the elementary school. Average just isn't good enough anymore. Olivia is reading at 2nd grade level and guess what she is IN 2nd grade! I am fine with that. Her teacher, however, made the suggestion of possibly finding help for her. I looked at her and said "didn't you just tell me she is reading at grade level?" I don't understand why that can't be good enough. Olivia is doing great and is ahead in every other subject but because she is right where she should be in reading she needs help? When did average become not good enough? She is 8! I don't buy it. I am more inclined to think that the reading thing takes a little longer for some kids to click into place and once it does things progress more smoothly. I told the teacher that I am willing to wait and see if she falls behind because for now average is good enough for me. The whole thing got me thinking about the pressure that has got to be on these little kids to be more then they might really be. Half the kindergarten kids come in being able to read and write as well as 1st graders could ten years ago. When my child can't do that the first day of Kindergarten that puts them behind? Being on a regular rec soccer league is not good enough either so now kids want to be on select and travel teams. Testing starts earlier and last longer and means so much more now.
I can see the pressure of trying to be better then average really clearly in my 4th grader this year. She wants to get the highest grade on everything and when she gets an average grade she feels she has disappointed us. The pressure is not coming from me. I certainly want all my kids to study and do their best but the effort they put into it is is much more important to me then the actual grade.
Not every one can be in the upper echelon of life and when people are groomed to try and get there they are set up for a pretty big tumble when something average comes rolling along and bite them in the tush.
2 comments:
Very well put. I think you can say that about us moms too to try and be the best and feeling guilty if we mess up which we are totally going to do. Such pressure!
I like listening to Prairie Home Companion. Garrison Keillor mentions that "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking and all the children are above average." Of course, half of us are above average and half of us are below average. I think that is the deifinition of average!! Good points that you made.
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