Must have Done Something Right.

From the minute each of my kids were born I started directly and indirectly trying to make them unselfish, giving individuals who put others before themselves. As young kids it is nearly impossible to get valid feedback on whether anything was sinking in or not. Kids are by nature selfish...don't want to share their toys or their snacks. I think I was on constant repeat with the word SHARE for years. I was pleasantly surprised over the last few weeks, on two separate occasions, when both Caroline and Olivia (10 and 8) came to me wanting to use their own money to buy their sister a birthday gift. They not only bought her gifts but where extremely excited to see her open the gifts. In the past I have prompted the kids to do this but this is the first time that they thought of doing this on their own. I had a moment of instant gratification ...all my years of trying to instill unselfishness had paid off. Moments like that totally make the other not so riveting moments, Amelia refusing to share her new birthday toys with her friends or Caroline not wanting to let her sister borrow her favorite pencil or Olivia hogging the favorite swing, more bearable. I certainly hope that as time goes on I will see evidence that other things I have tried to convey to the girls really are sinking in and making an impression.

One Whole Hand.

It really is hard to believe I have made it through the first five years of Amelia's life. I thought by now she would have driven me into insanity or at least constant drunkenness. I remember so clearly the day Caroline turned 5 and how old I thought she was and now Amelia is 5, yet I still think of her as my baby. I guess it will always be that way though because that is what she is, my baby. There are countless reasons I love Amelia and there are countless ways she drives me closer to the deep end. I am convinced with her bull headedness and strong ideas she will end up as a high powered executive of some kind or maybe the first female professional hockey player. Over the last 5 years we have endured 2 sets of daredevil stitches, countless hours of tantrums, mean faces and loud opinions but we have also relished in the many hugs, fierce independence, hilarious humor and a gentle heart. I admire and love all these qualities,both bad and good, because they are what make up my Amelia and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Not Me Monday! ***Stellan Style***

In honor of baby Stellan who is still in the ICU and MckMama ,I am writing my Not Me's relating to Stellan this week. This idea was thought up by Natalie over at the Cline Family!


I could never have joined 2 Facebook groups this week just to get up dates on baby Stellan..nope not me!

I certainly didn't check my twitter updates on my phone so many times while I was out of town that is went dead, that could never happen. I could never have been so upset that I couldn't get the updates that I almost started crying..that could not have happened.

I did not wake up in the middle of the night thinking about Stellan and his Mom and how they must be feeling...nope not me.

I didn't sneak out of my daughters birthday party to check the computer not once, not twice but three time sthat would have been wrong!

I could never have thought extra hard this week about how much I cherish my 3 kids and how I plan to enjoy every minute with them....Nope NOT me!

Random Picture Challenge!

Playing along with the Random Picture Challenge over at 4 little men and girly twins. Today's challenge is to go to your 27th picture folder (or your December 2007 picture folder) and go to your 27th picture.
This is a picture of Amelia sitting next to our Christmas train display that goes under the tree. Every year it seems to get bigger and better and the girls love helping their dad set it up!

Shopping with the Girls: an Education

Today was the last day of the girl's spring break so Chris took the day off and we decided to drive up to some outlet stores to shop and have lunch. I got a lot more then I bargained for on our trip! Here is what I learned in a nutshell:

10.5 year old's can't eat off the kids menu anymore even though they can only eat 1/2 of what they order off the regular menu.

8 year old's want to wear glasses so bad they will use their own money to buy fake ones.

5 year old's hate shopping and enjoy embarrassing their parents by dropping to their knees and scooting Round bumping into other customers.

Advertising has obviously done it's job because brand names are suddenly the only way to go.

A hissing and growling kid gets lot of stares and sympathetic smiles.

"I am going to cancel your birthday party" can only be used so many times before it becomes an empty threat.

3 kids can never agree on what movie to watch and when I decide to choose for them it is the worst movie ever that they have seen a billion times....which is good for me because they would rather have silence.

Whining and yelling in the car is a lot louder then at home.

Being able to look for clothes for yourself is strictly forbidden.

Trying to be thrifty by packing snacks and drinks in a cooler is a lost cause.

I really have turned into my mother because I swear I uttered the words "If you don't stop right this minute we will pull this car over!"AND "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all."

Why Kids are so Cute.

This week, with spring break going on, I am getting a renewed taste of my job as a stay at home mom. All three girls are here all day and my titles of chauffeur, scheduler, nursemaid, beautician, personal chef, personal shopper are in full swing. I came upon this article and I could not have written it better myself so I thought I would share it with all of you. Don't get me wrong I am thankful to be able to stay home with the kids but I do think mom's sometimes get a bum rap and are not recognized for all the behind the scenes work! Enjoy!

Not Me Monday!

Joining in with Not Me Monday which originated over at My Charming Kids....Mckmama is in my thoughts today, baby Stellan is in the ICU with breathing and heart issues!

Amelia could never have woken up in my bed and looked at me laying next to her and said "Mom what you are wearing is not very pretty and neither is your hair."

I could never have gone and dropped a load of money on a pair of running shoes and special running socks...NO way I would ever spend money on something for myself.

There is no way I ditched volunteering in Amelia's preschool class to go search for the special running socks...nope that would have been irresponsible and just plain wrong. I really DID go for the second part of the volunteering time but when I arrived Amelia could never have announced that my special errand was to search for socks to her whole class...that would have made me faint from embarrassment.

My nephew could never have taken a bite out of 6 cupcakes while they were waiting to be frosted...NOPE not in a million years.

Chris could never have told me he was leaving for 12 days in April...that would have been cruel and unusual punishment with soccer practice, brownies and gymnastics occurring during that time and overlapping.

There is NO way my sister is seriously considering trying to trap her special black squirrel that she feeds and watches so she can take him with her when she moves to her new house... that would be impossible!

Amelia certainly did NOT come in my room at 4am and say " MOM is the wicked witch of the west real or pretend?" and when I told her it was pretend she could never have asked to come in my bed just in case...no way, didn't happen!

I did NOT wake up in the worst knee pain I have ever been in this morning and when I say worst I mean including labor 3 times BEFORE the epidural. I could never have sat with a bag of frozen veggies on my knees for an hour before I could walk without wincing. I certainly am NOT considering trying to run tomorrow morning anyway that would probably be stupid.

Romance Novel: New Edition.

Chris and I had a much needed afternoon/dinner date yesterday. It was lovely to just do what we wanted and be together. Somewhere in the middle of the time I realized that what date means to us now is certainly not what date meant 15 years ago. Before we were married a date would include flowers and romance. We would spend hours holding hands and talking about the life we hoped to build together. I remember one specific date where we sat together on a bridge overlooking a creek and talked about how many children we might want someday and where we might want to live. I think we were 16 at the time. Our date yesterday involved Home Depot and Target and didn't really have any of the traditional romance we once had. It did involve romance though. We split a Cinnabon and discussed our children. We searched for a piece of artwork to hang in our home sweet home. It certainly involved love and patience too. Chris stood in busy, hot Victoria's secret while I searched for undies..now that says love I tell you! Our marriage is comfortable and worn in just how I like it and so are our dates. With so much uncertainty lately in the world I feel like I am where I was meant to be and where I want to stay.

Random Picture Challenge!

Joining in the Random Picture Challenge over at 4 little men and girly twins! The challenge this week is to go to your third picture folder (I went to my really old folders) and find the first picture with BROWN in it.This picture is from 2003 when Caroline was not quite 5 and Olivia was just 2..I am guessing they were playing dress up and I am assuming I was potty training :) Olivia is carrying around her trusty blanket Sucky!

The Ultimate Spring Break

Spring Break is looming close once again around here. The kids keep telling me about how all their friends are doing exciting and adventurous things like Disney world or the beach. They are flying on planes and playing in the sun. A lot of them are even missing school tomorrow to get a jump start on their vacations. I tried to tell my kids that we will do some really exciting adventurous things over spring break too! They all looked at me through squinty doubting eyes. I explained that we would be adventuring through their closets and they would get to pretend to be fashion models when they try all their spring clothes on to see what fits. We will take a side trip to do our weekly shopping at, you guessed it, the exclusive neighborhood grocery store! We might even make a really special excursion to Target where they can feast on the delicacy of popcorn and icee's. They can even put on their bathing suits and swim around in the bathtub. I would be glad to provide them with some opportunity to so some habitat for my humanity during their break. They can scrub the floors on their hands and knees and clean their rooms from top to bottom. I promise I will craft each of them a trophy of some sort to show their dedication to my cause. That way when their friends are showing off their Mickey Mouse ears and tans they will have something to show for their fabulous vacation.
I was shocked and surprised by the fact that the kids weren't doing back flips about my special action packed plans.

The iMac and the Mattress

When I was around 11 or 12 I went away with a friend for a week to her vacation house. When I returned refreshed and relaxed I discovered my parents had betrayed me. While I was gone they had taken my beloved mattress off my bed and replaced it with a new stiff one. Let me take a minute to describe my special mattress. It was soft and had a perfect mold of my body embedded in it. It was comforting and familiar to me and almost like a friend. When I realized what they had done I was beside myself with grief. I begged them to get my mattress and bring it back but of course they refused. I dragged my pillow and blankets off that spanking new mattress and slept on the floor for months. I don't remember what finally convinced me to actually sleep on the new mattress but I do know that when I eventually did it was never like the old one. Those of you that know me know that change does not come easily for me. All these matress memories came flooding back when A week or two ago my dear husband went out and bought an iMac. Our computer is a PC and it has all my stuff on it where I want it and I know it like the back of my hand. It crashes every other day and has been going downhill for months. I am protesting the iMac on several platforms. First of all it is not a PC and I have no clue how to work it. Second I feel like I am betraying my computer if I even cast a glance toward the new shiny iMac. I don't know how long it will take before I let my guard down and move on but for now I am sleeping on the floor with my back to the newest member of the family.

The Luck of the Irish

I am Irish so I was thinking last night about what the term luck of the Irish really means. I googled and searched but I couldnt find much explanation so I made up my own definition.

I am lucky because I have such a wonderful devoted husband even though he travels so much , coaches two soccer teams,and is on the tree committee.

I am lucky because I have such a giving thoughtful 10 year old even though she rolls her eyes and talks back.

I am lucky to have such a sweet,sensitive 8 year old even though she cries at the drop of a hat and collects everything known to man.

I am lucky to have such a strong opinionated 5 year old even though she is SO strong and SO opinionated.

I am lucky to have 2 furry lovable cats even though one sleeps on my head and the other on my feet.

I am lucky to have so many supportive,caring friends even though some live so far away and some are as crazy as me.

Obviously the luck of the Irish means to take the good with the bad and still feel like you found the pot of gold.

NOT ME Monday!

Joining in with My Charming Kids blog carnival NOT ME MONDAY! Join in the fun...it will make you feel good :)


I did NOT pour half a shaker of pepper into my chicken and noodles right before they were ready to eat...nope that would have made them sneezy and nasty. I also did not dig out a frozen pizza, after I deemed the noodles inedible, and burn the crap out of it...nope not ME.

Olivia could never have worn a V neck dress with a little half bra thing of her sisters out to the MALL with her dad ...and the V could never have gone below the bottom of the bra so you could clearly see part of her belly...that would NOT happen! Well it actually COULD happen and it DID happen because I left to have breakfast with friends before anyone was dressed.

Our cable and Internet would not have gone out for the whole day Saturday so we couldn't watch the playoff basketball game...nope that would be unfair.

I could never have been trying to uncork a bottle of wine and had the cork split in two and get wedged halfway in the bottle...and I would NEVER have taken the handle of a spoon and pushed it into the bottle having it erupt up all over my face, shirt and hair...NO WAY would I have wanted the wine that much. I certainly didn't lick it off my hand either.

I did NOT get up and go running at 7am ,in the dark, two mornings last week...NOT ME... that would have been bordering on insane. I certainly do NOT plan on doing it at least twice this week...that would be completely insane!

Amelia could never have asked me when we were going to Walmart while I stood there sweaty and gross after running and when I told her after I shower she could never have said " but you look perfect for Walmart Mom!!" that would have been TOO FUNNY!!

13 Oddities of my Friday the 13th.

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The Moral Compass.

When I think about myself and how I travel through life I know that I have a really strong pull towards the so called right thing. I know sometimes morality is tied to religion but I am talking about the part of morality that is not based on religion. Even as a kid I remember telling on myself for doing things that I knew were not right. My five year old does the same thing. Right now the issues aren't exactly moral but things like picking her nose and wiping it someplace or touching my computer when she isn't supposed to. When I got to be a teen I remember that I would feel extreme guilt for doing things like sipping alcohol or kissing boys. Somewhere inside my need to stay on the path surpassed my need to do too much experimenting. The things that I did do that were off the path are still embossed in my mind and make me feel bad to this day. I am 37 for petes sake why can't I let go the fact that I drank some tequila at 15?? We all know people that continually partied and had no remorse or realization that what they were doing was wrong. There are plenty of people that I know today that have no regard for right vs. wrong. Some are just totally unaware of the difference and some are well aware but could care less what others think of their actions. My question is what makes some people so aware of their moral compass and others lacking any compass at all? My sister and brother are both walking the really straight line with me so I know that upbringing has a large part in why we are who we are. Like I said though I remember feeling the need to be truthful and follow the rules even as a young child so there must be some other ingredients that make up our morality. Probably DNA and environment. It is both a blessing and a curse to feel so morally noble. It certainly makes it hard to relax and let loose. It makes others think that I am constantly judging them for whatever they choose to do. In reality, in most cases, I am envious of their deviations from the rules.

A Wrinkle in Time.

Over the past week I have come to a slow realization that I am OLD or well at least close to middle age. I still think of myself inside my head as young and agile but unfortunately my body does not agree. I have been getting up early and running to train for a 5K ..my first ever. Ohhh the pain. My muscles hurt and my knees and back are killing me. While I was sitting in a hot bath whimpering I was remembering that my own Mom took up running when she was just the age I am now. I have a picture of her clearly embedded in my head at that age and I remember thinking how old she was. I realize that the muscle pain will go away and I will reach my goal of running the 5K but it certainly isn't on a whim like it used to be. I still envision myself as a young mother who can do cartwheels for her kids. I can see myself running and flinging myself forward and doing a hand-hand ,foot-foot landing (as our gymnastics teacher always says) and then raising my hands above my head triumphantly with a huge smile on my face. In reality if I were to try and actually do a cartwheel a sickening crack would surely sound and I would not bounce up with a smile on my face, but lay in a heap on the ground. The vision of who I feel like I still am is having a throw down with the person I really am in my head. I think some women in their 30's get to the reality stage and embrace their maturity while others live in their 20's forever. In my opinion there is an age that hair halfway down your back and string bikini's becomes inappropriate no matter how good your body might look. In most cases these women think that doing these cosmetic things make them look younger when in actuality it points out how old they really are. I want to find a happy medium where I am somewhere between teeny bopper wanna be and shawl wearing snow bird. I am seeing the positive in my wisdom and maturity and embracing my abilities now instead of trying to live in the past.

When is good enough enough?

Somewhere along the way I have lost the ability to relax. I have found that no matter what I do it just isn't good enough, I always feel I need to do more. The worst part about it is that I am the only one judging myself. If I exercise for 45 minutes I feel I should have done it for an hour. If I spend 20 minutes reading with the kids I wish it had been 45 minutes. When the kids eat a treat I feel like a failure because it wasn't nutritious. Anyway you get my drift . I can never just say that things are good enough and let it go. This thought cycle puts me in a constant state of unrest so that I can't quite relax. I am not at all sure where this harsh judgement of myself came from but I know I don't like it one bit. One thing I do know is that I have not always been this way. I wonder if I might just be making my goals bigger and harder to obtain so that I can never quite reach them. Maybe I need meditation ?or medication? or just a 24 hour a day wine IV?

Not ME Monday!

Joining in with My Charming Kids blog carnival Not ME Monday! Join in it is fun and a great way to start the week!


I could never have registered my BABY for Kindergarten this week that would have made me sad or maybe NOT.

I certainly didn't send my 10 year old to school only to get a call from the school nurse before school even started to come pick her up. Nope. NOT me!

There is no way I guilted Chris into going and sitting through an hour of second grade presentations just so I didn't have to go that would have been mean and torturous!

I did NOT rock out on the Wii and sing Hungry Like the Wolf on a bet involving ice cream..could never have happened!

There is absolutely positively no WAY that Chris went out and bought the new iMac without even discussing it with me first ...that could be grounds for divorce especially because I am a total PC girl!

I certainly did not notice Amelia had blue toothpaste in her hair as she was climbing out of the car to go to preschool and I certainly did not try and scrape it out with a Starbucks card that happened to be sitting in my cup holder. It really did NOT come out but I bet she DID smell minty fresh all day!

I could never have gone running for the first time in a long time and been so stiff the next morning I could hardly get up...no that would never happen to youthful in shape ME.

I am totally NOT afraid to admit that Rob Lowe crying is totally sexy and it makes me want him even more even though I know Chris is reading this :)

Random Picture Challenge!

Joining in the Saturday/Sunday :) Random Picture Challenge over at 4 little men and girly twins.
This is the first NON-kid picture from my February 2009 folder. My cat, the Captain, sleeps this way every single night...I call him my kitty scarf! No wonder I have insomnia.

Action Equals Consequence

Unfortunately sometimes we just have to let kids decide things for themselves to understand the point we are trying to make. The problem with this strategy is the harsh judgement of moms that comes along with it. My nephew, for instance, insisted on wearing a pair of new pants that my sister bought him to preschool even though the pants were huge around the waist. He tried them on and threw a complete fit when she told him to change. She tried reasoning with him and providing another pair of pants to change into but nothing worked. The too big camo pants were just too wonderful for him to give up. She finally threw her hands up and said "fine wear them!" When she picked him up from preschool he simply said "MOM, I really need a belt if I am going to wear these pants." No doubt he made this deduction because the teachers mentioned it to him. So my sister comes off looking like an uncaring mother who doesn't pay attention to what her kid is wearing. This has happened to me more times then I would like to remember. Olivia has never been much of a breakfast person but she is always hungry by 10. When she was in preschool I used to try and force her to eat even a few bites of something before school but most of the time she just wouldn't. Once specific time I remember picking her up and her saying "Mrs. XYZ says that you really should feed me breakfast before school." Once again judged and prosecuted as being a bad mom. Another time, more recently, I remember Amelia having a pair of socks on that had holes in them and both her big toes were poking out. I told her to go find another pair and she refused and insisted that the socks were comfortable. When she got home from school she was wearing NO socks and told me that the teacher had her take them off and stick them in her backpack. I asked her why and she said because her toes were cold and hurting from sticking out the holes in her socks. It is like you are caught in a catch 22...you want kids to make their own choices and figure out things but you want to be thought of as a good mom too. We want them to know if they choose to wear pants that are too big they will fall down, if they don't eat they will be hungry and if they wear holey socks their feet will be cold and so on. These early experiments in trial and error will hopefully help to build a foundation to make better choices when the issues are weightier then how clothes fit and whether your stomach growls.

Hey Mom! Your Pants are on Fire!

I was watching the Today Show this morning and they had a segment on about parents lying to their children. They talked about some survey that showed 84% of parents have lied to their kids. I find that to be a little low in all actuality and I think the parents who said that they have never lied are decieving themselves big time. They also said 76% of the parents who admitted lying felt guilty about it. I know there are different degrees of truths and some are worse then others. Some fibs are safety related like, "The car can't drive until your seat belt is strapped." Some are health related like "NO there are no vegetables in this chili "or "I didn't know you were going to get 5 shots on our Dr. visit!" These types of lies are actually pretty necessary to get through the early years. As the kids get older and are more mature the anti goes up though. You have to know whether they can figure out you are lying or not. If they can then the lie is no good and backfires, teaching them that lying is OK and since kids are like little mimics they will be lying to us the next day. This is when the art of half truths comes into play. When they ask you a question you just answer with as little information as possible. "Did you ever drink wine when you were under 21?" " I had a few sips" was how I answered that one...they don't' need to know a few to me might me a little more then a few to them. They were totally satisfied with that answer but I know that in the years ahead I will have to come clean and spill more truths to them. For now though I will continue to massage the truth when necessary and use the time I buy to figure out a way to be totally honest in a constructive way. Ok that was a little fib..I may never come totally clean and be brutally honest...

Cowering in the Corner.

Today I was wavering and waffling on whether to take my 10 year old to McDonald's even though she came home sick from school and my sister said something that keeps echoing in my head. She said "You are the parent and you make the decisions for your child." This statement applies to several situations today. Caroline has been struggling with a cold/cough over the past 5 days. She has not had a fever and went to school today with no problem. As I was dropping Amelia off at preschool at 9:15 (exactly 10 minutes after the elementary school started) my phone rang and the nurse was calling to tell me I needed to come pick Caroline up. Instead of questioning her I immediately saw her as an authority figure and rushed to the school. She told me that Caroline had a low grade fever and her teacher's thought she didn't look well so she needed to go home and rest. Then I sat in the school parking lot dialing the pediatrician over and over and finally getting through only to be told "honey I can't get you in with any of the Dr.'s until 6pm." Obviously that is unacceptable for a pediatricians office. Sick kids can't wait ALL day to be seen. In my case she wasn't all that sick but what if she had a high fever or was a sick baby? Anyway I should have gotten my point across about my irritation to the nurse but instead I just told her I was heading to Urgent Care.
At Urgent Care the Dr. swabbed Caroline for strep and checked her ears and took her temperature (and she did not have one) and it was decided she was just at the very end of a common virus and probably not even contagious anymore. This brings us to the McDonald's visit. I was already planning on taking Amelia to McDonald's to play with her cousins and have lunch after preschool. For some reason I had it in my head that taking Caroline to sit there and drink a milkshake was against the rules (not sure who's rules). I don't know if I thought that the lady mopping the floors was going to yell at me or maybe the elderly cashier would say something. Authority figures scare me but I have to get over that and be an advocate for my children. In most cases these people are being paid for a service and are hired by me. I have to stop being scared of disagreeing with opinions that aren't the same as mine. I know what is best for my children and can't be afraid to step forward and speak my mind.

Not ME Monday!

Joining in the blog Carnival over at My Charming Kids! Join in it is great fun!




There is no way my 10 year old got up ever single day last week and took her own temperature and looked down her own throat to try and get out of going to school...NOPE she could never have done that. She also DID NOT wake up Saturday morning with a terrible cough and sore throat..that would have been sooo unfair!

I certainly did NOT volunteer in Amelia's preschool class without taking a shower and the teacher did NOT say that I looked like I didn't feel well and could go home if I wanted...NOPE didn't happen. I really DID stick it out and stay though.

I could never have watched Karate Kid after 25 years and been totally glued to the TV like it was the best movie ever..no way that would ever happen!

I did NOT hand craft Amelia's birthday invitations because I couldn't find any I liked and they certainly did not end up being twice as expensive as the store bought ones. NO WAY.

I would never have spent an hour Dysoning just to have some peace from the whining..nope not ME.

I did NOT pretend to be asleep when two of the three kids woke up at the same time crying..nope that would not have been nice.

I would never have forgotten that I signed the girls up for a gymnastics class that starts this week and only remembered by sheer chance..nope that could not have happened.

The power could not have gone out for over an hour during dinner time with my chicken half cooked.. that would have sucked big time!... although the wine kept flowing and kept me warm and in a good mood.

Chris could never have run outside in his flannel PJ's at midnight to yell at some kids putting signs in our yard...NO way that would have made us old and crotchety!