The fantasy of Motherhood started for me 10 years ago when I had my first little bundle of joy. The reality started the very next day when we took her home. The poop and pee and midnight feedings were like slaps in the face but what was even more sobering was the realization that I (and I suppose my husband too) was responsible for this person. Responsible for their safety, responsible for teaching them every thing they need to know to be a good person and my case, with three girls, shaping them into good Mothers one day. The most important thing I think I have learned is that you can't be a Mom and a friend to your child. What they are yearning for is an adult that is setting rules and giving them the support and information they need on their journey through childhood. There is plenty of time later to be friends. Having kids can seem all consuming but it is so important to try and have a life outside the kids. What I mean by that is that being a Mom doesn't mean you can't have personal goals for yourself or that you can't have hobbies or friends. It also doesn't mean that the kids should come before your relationship with your husband (I already covered my thoughts on that in an earlier post here if you want to read). I love my children and I make sure that they know that I do but there is certainly a difference between love and obsession.
As I move on to my second 10 years as a Mom I am sure I will be facing some unchartered territory and many new revalations. The job description keeps changing and morphing into a more complex task then I signed up for. I am keeping my eye on the prize though... a well adjusted independant adult who loves and respects me as a Mom and as a person!
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