Change is something I am fearful of. I like things the same, known and repetitive. When things change instead of feeling the adrenaline rush of newness I feel the overwhelming need to breath into a paper bag. I totally believe that situations change and needs change but I have a hard time convincing myself that people actually change. Mostly I think people try to change and pretend to change, maybe even to themselves, but stay the same person that they always have been. I want to give the benefit of the doubt to those who show up a seemingly better person then they once were. When they seem no longer petty or cut throat. Back to me not being a big fan of change. I feel guilty because I can't embrace the idea that someone isn't who I know them to be. Someone who has proven to me over and over that they are a wolf in sheep's clothing and every time I give in a little and begin to trust the sharp teeth come out. See, I can't change either no matter how much I try. I am the same person I have always been.
1 comment:
I think you are right...mostly people don't change...that being said, I think what you're not acknowledging is that your being reluctant to ignore what you know to be true about someone isn't something you should or could change...it's called instinct and it's different from someone treating you wrong, truly learning from their mistake and making a change within themselves so they don't repeat their actions.
So go ahead and feel a little guilty, but don't change and don't ignore your instincts...I suspect they serve you well!
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