Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Focusing on Distraction

Too often lately I have felt like I am juggling so many hats in the air trying to decide which one to put on that I can't even see straight. I want to be the best mom I can be and the best friend and the best athlete and the best wife and on and on but in the midst of trying to be all of these things I don't think I am doing my best at any of them. My focus is fragmented and everything seems blurry and my mind flips from one thing to another. It is what I imagine having attention deficient disorder might be like. The other thing that is starting to frustrate me about myself is that if I don't feel like I am doing something to a state of completeness and flawlessness then I would rather not do it at all. So basically at this point I am living in a state of discord with myself. The side effect of this seems to be the thing that is bothering me the most. I can't praise my kids without also throwing in something they need to improve on...it is like a sickness or something. My mouth opens and I gush words of praise but they are immediately cancelled out by words of what could be done better. This is obviously not my ideal parenting strategy. I want to breed confidence and independence. How do I pick the right hat and regain my focus?

No comments: