Average Joe.

I have been a pretty average person all my life. I was an average student in school in most subjects. Just so-so looks wise and lived in a middle class neighborhood. All my life I have sort of blended in with the crowd and been middle of the road in everything that I do. I have always been fine with that and even went to college and got a job with my average existence. I realized something last night after I attended conferences at the elementary school. Average just isn't good enough anymore. Olivia is reading at 2nd grade level and guess what she is IN 2nd grade! I am fine with that. Her teacher, however, made the suggestion of possibly finding help for her. I looked at her and said "didn't you just tell me she is reading at grade level?" I don't understand why that can't be good enough. Olivia is doing great and is ahead in every other subject but because she is right where she should be in reading she needs help? When did average become not good enough? She is 8! I don't buy it. I am more inclined to think that the reading thing takes a little longer for some kids to click into place and once it does things progress more smoothly. I told the teacher that I am willing to wait and see if she falls behind because for now average is good enough for me. The whole thing got me thinking about the pressure that has got to be on these little kids to be more then they might really be. Half the kindergarten kids come in being able to read and write as well as 1st graders could ten years ago. When my child can't do that the first day of Kindergarten that puts them behind? Being on a regular rec soccer league is not good enough either so now kids want to be on select and travel teams. Testing starts earlier and last longer and means so much more now.
I can see the pressure of trying to be better then average really clearly in my 4th grader this year. She wants to get the highest grade on everything and when she gets an average grade she feels she has disappointed us. The pressure is not coming from me. I certainly want all my kids to study and do their best but the effort they put into it is is much more important to me then the actual grade.
Not every one can be in the upper echelon of life and when people are groomed to try and get there they are set up for a pretty big tumble when something average comes rolling along and bite them in the tush.

The thaw.

Every year around the end of February I start to yearn for the blue cloudless sky and the hot sun. The carefree days of basking in the glow and throwing the schedule out the window.

The squishy sand between my toes and the frothy water nipping at my legs.

I begin to imagine the sweet smell of wildflowers and the chirping birds that wake me in the morning.

I hear the sound of laughing and frolicking echoing in my head like a happy memory..it even blocks out the winter whining and constant fighting.
I can almost hear the ice begin to thaw and the flowers and trees begin to bud.

Ahhh I hope Spring is almost upon us because I know Summer is not far behind!

The Slippery Slope.

When your kids get to Kindergarten age you start to really think about the school system you live in and what it has to offer your offspring. We all want the best education for our children which creates the most opportunity for college and careers later on. We moved to a "better" district when Caroline was turning 5 as a lot of people choose to do. The schools are amazing and the opportunities are endless. The problem is all the rest of the things that come along with moving to a "better" district. The first is less diversity. The kids are basically exposed to other kids just like themselves and don't really see much hardship. They are surrounded by kids who get what they want because their parents want them to have all that they didn't have when they were young. They get cell phones at 8 and Coach purses by 10. There are playdates galore and not a moment of worry about where their next meal is coming from or if they will have a big blow out birthday party. I feel like we are sliding down the slope pretty fast around here. I want my kids to get the great education as a foundation for their future yet I also want them to be compassionate accepting people who see the good in all different kinds of people. Climbing up that slimy slippy slope and being able to balance between creating happy ,well adjusted ,diverse kids who have a stellar education is not going to be an easy task.

Queen Bee

My good friend Heather called me the other day to tell me she was dropping the kids (her 2nd grader and mine) off at Brownies and had to stop short to keep from hitting another mom who was walking across the parking lot. For each Brownie meeting the girls have to donate an item to a different charity. That night it was the Humane Society. I picked up a couple of pet bowls in the dollar section and Heather got a couple of cheapie dog toys. Anyway the mom Heather almost hit was carrying a 25 pound bag of dog food. She was struggling under the weight of her charitable donation. Don't get me wrong, I am all for these donations. I think it is a great part of Girl Scouts. What I am not all for moms who go out of their way to one up every other parent around. This mom not only donates bigger and better she is also the cookie mom who is in charge of all selling and money related to our troop's cookie sales. She is very precise and nit picky and practically makes you sign away your first born to be able to pick up your cookies (during her two hour designated pick up time only). The cookie Nazi is a great example but unfortunately only one of many moms I know that go way overboard in their quest to be the Queen Bee. The real question is what do these ladies have to gain by their actions. Lots of it is making the rest of the mom population feel inadequate and less worthy of their children's love. Some of it might be because they truly believe they really are in a higher category then most of us normal moms. A little tiny part is probably because they don't know any other way to show their kids they love them then to dedicate themselves to continually being at the top of the ficticious best mom list. I just wonder if they know that while they are way up there on their high horse looking down their nose they are the butt of many a joke down here in average mom land.

NOT ME Monday!

Joining in the blog carnival over at My Charming Kids! Confessing all the things I certainly did NOT do this week ...or at least the things I would like to pretend I didn't do :)

It is not possible I was taking a bath and the cat decided to walk along the side of the tub only to slip in and all the way under the water...scratching ME to get out..NOPE never.

Chris's two week trip could never have gotten postponed...no way would that happen!
There is no way that I got a few hours of kid free time to watch a movie with a friend..nope NOT me!

I could never have told Amelia she was fine when she said she felt tired and sick only to find out a few hours later she had a temperature of 102.


No way did I almost run out of gas on the way to my sister's....and when I coasted in to her drive I certainly didn't have to use her lawnmower gas to fill my tank enough to get to the gas station. That could never happen!

There is no way I talked Chris into all the drop offs and pick ups for the birthday parties over the weekend..Nope never!

I could never have cried TWICE in one day...I just do NOT do that, really I don't.

There is no way I laugh EVERY single time the cell phone commercial comes on with the lady that says ..." guess who is calling ?? Your butt"...LOL...too funny!


I certainly could not have obsessively washed my hands every 5 minutes and Lysoled the entire house so I don't end up with whatever virus is making it's way through our house..nope NOT me!

I could never have gone to Target with my sister and laughed at my 2 year old nephew climbing out of the cart and under the cart and running all over the store wearing a yet to be purchased batman hat and huge movie star sunglasses...that would have been too mean especially since a few short years I was in her shoes! Nope I certainly did not do that!

Kidisms

I have collected a quite a few quotes from my three girls (10, 8 and almost 5) and my two nephews (2 and 5)over the last few weeks. I thought I would share some of them. They made me laugh and I hope they make you chuckle too!

"Mom do the poopies talk to each other as they go down the potty to the pipes?"

"WOW that place smelled like a big pile of garbage." (as we were leaving the cat rescue shelter)

Child: "The cat is waiting up in my room while I go to the bathroom." Parent: "Is he locked up there???" Child: "NO but my door is shut tight."

Child: "MOM look at this flaky white stuff in my hair..sob sob...what could it be..am I dying." Parent: scratch scratch sniff sniff *** looking really closely***"...ummm it is SOAP you didn't wash out of your hair in the shower."

"I invited my whole class and all my teachers to my birthday party ." " I told them we couldn't go upstairs or in the basement because it is too messy."

"Dad your arm pits smell great!"

Parent: "Do you like Lucky Charms?" Child: I like the Smellows!"

Child: "Amelia has to sit down to pee because she doesn't have a wiener."

"My name is not Nick, call me Batman."

"I told my teacher she smelled much better then usual today."

Parent: "Why don't you ever wear those 40$ tennis shoes that you talked me into buying you?" Child: "They take too long to put on and tie."

"Why would that lady want to have 8 babies when she already has 6 other kids and no husband to help her?" "..and why does she look like Angelina?"

"I am sure a scary monster is scratching at my window with his one really long nail."

Looking out the window toward the sky at a plane: "Hi Daddy."

Dressing up for the gym.

I had to laugh today when a mom at Amelia's preschool walked up at pick up time. She was dressed really cute with pointy boots and makeup. I started talking to her and she told me that on Wednesday's she and her friends drop the kids off at the gym babysitter and go to the cafe and have lunch. I think this is such an awesome idea but sort of caught me off guard. I am debating joining the same health club and just never considered doing anything but working out after I drop the kids off in the child care center. For some reason I have serious mom guilt when I do stuff like that yet I totally see the absolute perfection in the plan. I am coming around to realizing or more like admitting that I need time for ME. It has taken me until my youngest is almost five to get to this point. I have spent ten years feeling guilt over every millisecond I spend indulging myself in time without a kid hanging on my leg. I have spent the time debating everything kid related and immersing myself in play dates and potty training. Now I feel ready to admit I need to think about myself. If this is selfish, so be it but I think it is necessary. I also think women who do not admit the need for this time are lying to themselves. I know moms like that end up as a daily volunteer at their child's school, a room mother for every holiday and unable to go on dates with their own husband without a child tagging along. Those are the moms that kids end up resenting for hovering over them 24 hours a day and not letting them make their own choices. I am choosing to let my guilt go and admit my need for time away from my kids.