Mean Girls

As the mom to three girls I worry a lot about them developing a positive self image. I try to model by example nutrition and exercise. I want them to want to be healthy. I need them to feel good about their bodies and their appearance because I know if promotes self confidence and leadership skills. My whole life I have felt big. I can remember in the 5th grade being taller and bigger then everyone else. I was shy to begin with and that just made me withdraw deeper into the wallpaper. I never tried out for a team or joined a group. I preferred to just stand on the sidelines. People whispered in hushed but audible tones about how big I was or how red my face was or whatever else they could think of to rattle me. My skin was so thin and my confidence so shaky that I wasn't able to power past the meanness. Instead I let it over take me and guide me through my entire education. I know now that I could not control what other people said or did but I could have faced the adversity in a different way. I could have embraced my uniqueness and found my place inside the gym or on the stage. My most important goal and message for my girls is to make them see themselves in a magic light with all their positive features shining through to the top of the list. The good always beats the bad in my book. You are taller then everyone?? So what you can also write a wonderful story or create a beautiful piece of artwork! You have pimples and braces?? SO what you have gorgeous hair and long strong legs!! Let all those things that might be holding you back fall away and focus on what you are proud of and can accomplish. Showing what you can do helps to develop thick skin that will bounce off the people who try to showcase the unflattering things. Most of the time those kids that point out flaws are so jealous of something they see in the you that they have to try to squish you down so you don't find your happiness. As a parent it is heartbreaking to see your child come home from school crying about someone else's words or actions. The thing that is important is how we teach them to deal with these meanies and also how to think about what you are saying to others so you aren't a meanie yourself! Surrounding yourself with friends who take in stride everything you have to offer including the good, the bad and the different is the true way to find the place you are looking for.