Thursday, October 22, 2009

Mommy Mask

No matter how hard I try to be the kind of mom you see on TV and in books I just can't get there. I feel like an impostor, someone who is going through the motions but just doesn't have their head in the game. Half the time I look in the mirror and am shocked at what I see. I could never be a 38 year old mother of 3 when I still feel 15 inside. No matter how hard I try I can't figure out where all the room moms and volunteers get their motivation. I hide from that. I break out in a cold sweat when I even think about having to be in charge of a party or an event. Some would say being a good mom is having total focus on your children but I feel like that is wrong. How can you forfeit yourself as a person to focus on your children? It is important to nourish your relationships and interests so that you can be a happy person and in turn a happy mother. When I hear moms brag about never spending time alone with their husbands because that would mean diverting attention from their children it makes my skin crawl. Children can't learn to have a healthy relationship without seeing one with their own eyes. Being a good mom doesn't always mean being the top dog of the school or the cookie mom for girl scouts. Sometimes being the best mom starts with being a happy mom who doesn't have to hide behind a mask at all.

1 comment:

Missy said...

I love your comment about needing alone time with your husband. The other day Tone gave me a hug and kiss in the kitchen. Anna was staring at us and then said "Take me to Bed, Bath, and Barfland!" We started laughing hysterically. Deep down, kids love seeing that their parents have a strong, loving relationship. It makes them secure :-)