Making a Comeback

Some things that make a comeback should really stay in the past. Things like leg warmers and neon pink mini skirts should just stay in the back of the closet. Big hair and Pac Man should be put in a locked box and the key should be tossed out to sea. One thing I think really needs to make a smashing comeback though is me. When I was a little kid I always felt like I was climbing a mountain inside. Struggling up each rock scraping my knees on the way. I was shy. Terrifyingly so. I worked hard to have friends and even harder to build some self confidence. Although I slowly gained some leverage and slowly kept climbing I never really felt comfortable in my own skin. When I hit college I began to real figure out who I was. My grades soared and I felt independent and like I could make a difference. I graduated and found a job doing work that was important both to me and to the children I was teaching. I got married and we bought a house and it was all new and the beginning. It was like I was on stage singing a hit single. When I had kids that was wonderful and also a beginning. What I didn't realize was that when I had my kids I would put myself backstage. I would willingly give them my best parts and in the process come to a stand still on my own climb. The past 12 years have been about them. I have poured everything I could into them and I see it every day. I am proud of what they are becoming and I love each of them for who they are because of me. Yet I am beginning to feel uncertain in my skin again and feel like I need to make a comeback. I want to start where I left off and begin that up hill battle again. Not to say I am done being a parent to my children but in fact exactly the opposite. I feel like it is time for them to see me in a new light. Someone who has confidence and isn't scared to be in the spotlight in the middle of the stage.