Experience is Key

It always amazes me how history tends to repeat itself. Sometimes in different forms but always with the same message. The girls have had chores for years. Simple stuff like feeding the cats or unloading the dishwasher. In the last few months we have given them some more complex things to do. For some reason I caught myself redoing the things that they had done because they weren't done right all the while grumbling about having to do everything myself. By right I mean the way I do them. That realization made me cringe. It made me remember another time when I felt my way was the right way. When we had our first baby eleven and a half years ago I used to literally walk behind Chris and redo everything he tried to do. I would re-wash, re-diaper and re-feed Caroline. He could do nothing right no matter how hard he tried. I dismissed him and his efforts outwardly while inwardly tearing my hair out over all my responsibility. The closer I got to having a complete mental breakdown the harder my grip became on the control of how things had to be. After I got some sleep and Caroline got a little older I did loosen my hold a little and with each baby after that I let Chris do more. I remember having to consciously remove myself from the room and let him take some of the control. He might not have done things the way I would have done them. He might not have done them the right way. The kids were always happy and warm and safe. They had the love and attention of their Daddy. He had the time to gain experience and learn. I had time to sleep or read or bathe. It really was a win-win situation. Back to now and the chores. The memory of me back then was like a slap in the face. I know that the girls are doing the work. They are being responsible and doing it without being asked. They might not be doing it exactly right but it is getting done and I don't have to do it, again a win-win situation. Experience is the best teacher. They are learning and so am I.