A Clean Slate

Sometimes I wish I could join the witness protection program (although I am not sure you can actually chose to join). You know just wipe the slate clean and start over. No baggage. No drama. No complications. I could choose a new name and a new place to start over. I would be nicer and not yell so much. I would dress my kids in matching outfits and have a white picket fence. I would have a floor so clean that we could eat straight off of it and trees perfectly grown and manicured. I would be self assured and confident. I would do the grocery shopping and try clothes on before buying them. I would enjoy pedicures and wear a bikini. I would cry when I was sad.

I might be able to do this a week then I would be who I am again.

New drama would appear and complicated relationships would begin. There is no escaping the fact that we are all human and nothing can stay at the surface for long. Everything becomes complicated and detailed. That is what makes life so challenging yet so empowering. We can't forget our faults anymore then we can forget our identity. We all have things we want to be but don't quite have that courage to reach beyond the comfort we have created. Our identity encompasses the good the bad and the ugly all wrapped up in the past, now and the future. Our pasts follow us forever but our futures are yet to be determined. We can be who we want to be to a certain extent but not without knowing who we were before.