Static Cling

Twenty-four years is a long time. It is hard to remember back that far. But I do because it is important. Pivotal even. It was that day the threads of my life began to wind together. Only weeks after meeting we made a juvenile commitment that can only be created in the minds of two 15 year olds. As young as we were and simple as that first love was it was the basis for where we are today. Through the years we haven't wavered on what we are to one another. Some days seem hard and some days seem easy but the most important thing is that we believe. Even when it is isn't easy. We have faith in the promises we made to be together. Whether it is a promise we made in front of a church beneath a veil or a promise whispered between just us. We know now that those blanket statements "for richer and poorer" and "in sickness and health" do not describe hypothetical situations but future reality.

We advocate for each other as if it is second nature. Protecting and defending you is who I am. Unspoken support is what we have. I can't imagine a better dad for our three girls. They see in you what I hope they strive to be. Your constant devotion to me has spilled over to them. Somewhere between laughter

and tears we find a happy medium built on compromise and flexibility.

Twenty four years really is a long time. But it isn't forever. Forever is where I hope I am heading with you.

Rumor has it....

Sushi is actually edible if you slather enough soy sauce and wasabi on it.

Kids can and do form their own political views despite what you say to them.

Wearing high heels on the same day as running 14 miles is hobbling.

Chocolate really can make your day climb out of the toilet.

The sun still rises even on the darkest day.

Being a bargain shopper is great except when it comes to hair products and shoes.

It is ok to admit to reading a book labeled erotica if it is also called mommy porn and passed around in MOPS.

No matter how much you speculate or plan or consult the experts for how a child will react to something it always ends up going another way.

Love and marriage do NOT always go together like a horse and carriage.

When you need a hair tie or a bobby pin you can't find one to same your life but if are sweeping the floor you will find 5. The vacuum will find 10.

When you ask me what is for dinner and I say NO idea that probably means mac and cheese or peanut butter and jelly. It doesn't mean Chipotle or Wendy's.

Attending church doesn't make you a better person than someone that doesn't but if you go to church and embrace the message you already know that.

Fat cats are funny any way you look at it especially from behind.

Pass the Mouthwash

I have a bad taste in my mouth. It doesn't have to do with the garlic I ate last night. It's not about me forgetting to brush my teeth. Somewhere between anger and fear I lost sight of how beneficial it is for me to be able to forgive. Initially you think you are doing that for the other person but really it's freeing to be able to forgive. Grudges suck the life out of you. They weigh you down and cloud your vision. They leave you spiritless and with lots of sharp edges. With a very sour taste in your mouth.

Finding it in yourself to let things go is the only true way to move on. Forgiveness is free and found in aisle 3 of your heart. Sandwiched between grace and kindness. These days not much is free and readily available. Not many things can remove the bitterness and replace it with peace.

People are not always who we wish they were. As much as we want to be able to change them it just doesn't work that way. Playing that kind of waiting game may last a lifetime.

Focus on my actions. That's what I have decided. I can control me and my ability to forgive. I can be kind and show compassion. By forgiving others it makes it easier to forgive ourselves. Self forgiveness is the ultimate in becoming your most authentic self. The real you. Authentic, compassionate and forgiving are three words I hope my kids use to describe me someday.

No Sugar Added.

I hate labels. They tell me how many calories I am shoving in my mouth. They inform me of how much sugar and fat I am consuming. They tell me I have to dry clean my favorite shirt. They itch my neck every time I put on that one special sweater. Labels annoy me.

They also predispose kids to be thought of in certain ways. I remember when I was 8 or 9 and I was labeled the shy one. Sure I cried a lot and turned red at the drop of a hat but instead of words of encouragement I got dismissed as being quiet and boring. That label shaped who I am now. It made it hard to step forward. It made me believe it myself. The label turned into a box. One that surrounds you with...you can't or ...you shouldn't or .... that's who you ARE. It backs you into a corner that is hard to escape from..those labels. You are a nerd or you are fat or you are dumb or you are gay. Kids are mean. Things spoken in a moment of anger or sometimes jealousy that can cause a lifetime of hurt. All words that set up roadblocks that are sometimes insurmountable

for children. As parents we can love our kids and tell them how great they are out the wazoo but the label is still there squarely on their forehead when they look in the mirror. We try to make our kids strong and self confident. To teach them to be rubber and let mean bullying bounce off. It's just words the other parents and the teachers like to believe.

It isn't like they punched them in the face or pushed them down. But they did. And many times they can't get back up.

Teach your children empathy. They could be on the other side at any moment and how would they want others to treat them? Discourage cliques. Not every person has to be your friend but you have to be friendly to everyone. That is my mantra . As hard as it is to remember when you are the target the ones shooting the darts have weaknesses too. Most of the time the only way they know how to make themselves feel stronger is to knock others

down. The long run of life doesn't look kindly on people who climb the ladder that way. By knocking other people out of the way. Eventually it all catches up to them and they are the ones who are left alone.

If You Can't Hear Me Feel Free to Turn it UP.

Occasionally my kids take Lunchables to school and sometimes I even ((gasp)) let them have McDonalds. I let them order what they want from there. It is a treat. I do not make them get apples and milk. Who goes to Mcdonalds for apples and milk???

Some days we wear mismatched socks and jeans out of the dirty clothes hamper at our house...WE meaning the kids AND me.

There are crumbs and half melted crayons in my van. If you want a ride home you will embrace them or at least ignore them.

I love all three of my kids every day but some days I like one of my kids more than the others. Some days I like one a lot less then the other two. Some days I like the cats more than all three kids.

I enjoy watching HGTV all weekend long but I hate doing home improvement projects. I find it mesmerizing to watch others do them but I don't paint or sand or shellac.

I find people who enjoy discussing politics, religion and "alternative" eating refreshingly interesting and extremely knowledgeable. I find people who shove their views on these things down my throat ignorant and closed minded. Gray and neutral are my favorite colors.

I don't find it polite or endearing when people call me hon or dear or mam. It is like nails on a chalkboard. In fact I sometimes have to physically hold my tongue so I don't say something rude back.

I eat dessert every night. It is part of my meal. I let my kids eat dessert. They don't have to eat all their dinner to get it either.

Help Wanted

When kids are tiny and new everyone can outwardly see the work taking care of them involves. They need everything. To be fed and bathed and wiped and loved. It is never ending really. And they watch everything you do remembering and memorizing the way you do it. From the moment they arrive you are their teacher in so many ways. As they grow and change the outward appearance of their need for you changes. They have learned to do all those monotonous things every day life calls for themselves. The thing that is hard to see or understand is that their need inside is still there. They don't need you to pick out their clothes or cut up their meat but they do need you to listen to them cry over not being invited or praise their outstanding game. They want to be told what time to come home and what language class to sign up for. The work of parenting isn't done. I would argue that it is probably never done. Learning to find the balance of respect and independence is a scary dance for them. All we can do is provide the music but we can't get out there and dance for them.

When I steal a sideways glace at my girls these days I see flashes of them as babies but also glimpses of me and of what they will be as women. I listen to their

vocabularies and the individual sense of humor I hear from each one and I know that so far I have done my job the best that I know how. They don't need me to tie their shoes anymore but they do need me to be present and participating. When you are rocking in that chair feeding the baby at midnight and thinking about how hard it is to make it through the day without sleep or a shower remember that those days are tough but may not be the toughest. When they are learning to ride a two wheeler and fall and skin their knee it is painful but probably not as bad as their first breakup or failing their driving exam. Parenting is a lifelong job with the highest level of commitment of any job out there. The good thing is that it also has a life time of huge payouts and bonus's. Love and creating a genuinely good person are two I can think of off the top of my head.

*BLEEP* People Say in Powell, OH

Everything I have written or tried to write in the past few months is just too influenced by gray clouds and heavily laden by my extreme SAD disorder. Sooo in true Beth fashion I have decided to divert attention from the serious and important and write something with a little comic relief in it...

**Thanks to my running girls and my sister for contributing ideas for this post. Luckily they can all find humor in themselves since they (and me ) are all guilty of one or two of these things. Hopefully all of my Powell friends reading can too.**

Bleep people say in Powell, Ohio......

1) "Zoombezi Bay?? OH we don't go there even though it is right in Powell...the people from Columbus like to vacation there. They pack a big styrofoam cooler and bring their unruly children from sun up to sun down....Besides my Nanny doesn't like to get too much sun."

2) "Backround checks for school volunteers?? BRAVO! No more perverted parents on field trips! I am glad they aren't giving breathalyzers or checking Coach purses for prescription drugs..."

3) "Hold on honey! I am busy arranging the kids sports stickers on the back of my car in alphabetic order with my 13.1 sticker smack dab in the middle...we may need a bigger SUV."

4)" I started using the SCRIP program the day my kid entered kindergarten to save for the 8th grade trip! We have exactly $47.55...8 years later."

5) "No, Little girl I don't want any of those girl scout cookies unless they are gluten free, peanut free and made in completely peanut free factories. I will however purchase a dozen boxes to donate to a food pantry. Those people won't care about the nutritional worth."

6) "Have you heard the Middle School kids are having"kissing" parties in the woods?? I wonder where those parents are while this is going on??? HOW do these kids even know what "kissing" is??"

7) "Did someone just say they saw Jack Hanna?? Who cares!"

8) "Out of all the ice cream shops in Powell I could only live with one choice. The organic choice. At Jenni's I can get a hearty portion of my favorite goat cheese-chocolate-banana-caramel- marshmallow- mint-clove-barley in a vegan cone for only 10$ What a bargain!"

9) "I ran 10 miles in 2 hours at a 10 minute a mile pace this morning then I hit the gym after work and now I am going to go pick up a pizza, beer and ice cream..I deserve it!"

10)" Our small town is so quaint that I can walk to restaurants and bars but I still have to be careful not to drink too much..the police are known for stopping people for drunk walking!"

11) "The new neighbors are turning our subdivison into a ghetto. Their swingset has a light green striped awning and a YELLOW slide instead of the one specified by our association. We may need to have an intervention."