*BLEEP* People Say in Powell, OH

Everything I have written or tried to write in the past few months is just too influenced by gray clouds and heavily laden by my extreme SAD disorder. Sooo in true Beth fashion I have decided to divert attention from the serious and important and write something with a little comic relief in it...

**Thanks to my running girls and my sister for contributing ideas for this post. Luckily they can all find humor in themselves since they (and me ) are all guilty of one or two of these things. Hopefully all of my Powell friends reading can too.**

Bleep people say in Powell, Ohio......

1) "Zoombezi Bay?? OH we don't go there even though it is right in Powell...the people from Columbus like to vacation there. They pack a big styrofoam cooler and bring their unruly children from sun up to sun down....Besides my Nanny doesn't like to get too much sun."

2) "Backround checks for school volunteers?? BRAVO! No more perverted parents on field trips! I am glad they aren't giving breathalyzers or checking Coach purses for prescription drugs..."

3) "Hold on honey! I am busy arranging the kids sports stickers on the back of my car in alphabetic order with my 13.1 sticker smack dab in the middle...we may need a bigger SUV."

4)" I started using the SCRIP program the day my kid entered kindergarten to save for the 8th grade trip! We have exactly $47.55...8 years later."

5) "No, Little girl I don't want any of those girl scout cookies unless they are gluten free, peanut free and made in completely peanut free factories. I will however purchase a dozen boxes to donate to a food pantry. Those people won't care about the nutritional worth."

6) "Have you heard the Middle School kids are having"kissing" parties in the woods?? I wonder where those parents are while this is going on??? HOW do these kids even know what "kissing" is??"

7) "Did someone just say they saw Jack Hanna?? Who cares!"

8) "Out of all the ice cream shops in Powell I could only live with one choice. The organic choice. At Jenni's I can get a hearty portion of my favorite goat cheese-chocolate-banana-caramel- marshmallow- mint-clove-barley in a vegan cone for only 10$ What a bargain!"

9) "I ran 10 miles in 2 hours at a 10 minute a mile pace this morning then I hit the gym after work and now I am going to go pick up a pizza, beer and ice cream..I deserve it!"

10)" Our small town is so quaint that I can walk to restaurants and bars but I still have to be careful not to drink too much..the police are known for stopping people for drunk walking!"

11) "The new neighbors are turning our subdivison into a ghetto. Their swingset has a light green striped awning and a YELLOW slide instead of the one specified by our association. We may need to have an intervention."