I Take it ALL Back

So I have decided to just come out and admit I am wrong.

I am taking it all back. The

advice, the teaching, the modeling, the punishments. All of it back. Who cares that I am 39 years old and a former teacher and their MOTHER. I am obviously incorrect. My children tell me every day. They argue with every word that comes out of my mouth. Lets face the truth...I do not know best.

Maybe reverse psychology will work?

Never ever clean up after yourself. Just let it all pile up and who cares when you have absolutely no clean underware and have to turn some inside out?? Don't worry! No one will know and if you get in an accident and have to go to the hospital with dirty undies and holey socks.

Stay up all night. No really ALL night. It won't matter when your alarm goes off at 6:30. You will be able to drag yourself out of bed and make your breakfast and straighten your hair and be out the door with NO sleep. You ARE right...I am mean when I say 10pm is when you should be in bed lights out..that is just way to early for a 12 year old!

When I tell you it is going to snow and be cold IGNORE me. I am wrong way more then the weather man. Go ahead wear flip flops and a skirt. OH and be sure to leave your jacket in a pile on the floor. You won't get cold.

Packing three different forms of fruit snacks is a perfectly acceptable lunch especially if you add in some chocolate milk and maybe a cookie. That will keep you full all day and I know it will make you ace that spelling test you have in the afternoon.

OH sure let me shell out 80$ for those awesome shoes you want. I mean it isn't like you are going to grow out of them in the next few months or anything. HEY maybe I should add in a new purse and a pair of designer sunglasses while I am at it. YOU know I am made of money and think it will make you a better person if I give you every single thing you desire in life.

Is that outfit clean?? oh I forgot to go in your room and dig through all the piles to find the dirty clothes and then wash them so they were prepared for you this morning. I am so sorry.. will you ever forgive me for being so careless?? Oh and don't worry that there is a dried mustard stain on that shirt...we can just toss it and buy a new one. As a matter of fact let me run out and do that today because as you like to inform me I have absolutely NOTHING going on.

HER mom pays for A's on report cards?? OH WELL what a fabulous idea...let me give you 10$ for each A...oh and HER mom goes to get ice cream?? well lets do that as well...and HIS mom lets him get a new Wii game...how fabulous!

I would LOVE to paint your nails at 9pm! YES let me braid your hair too... AND study for that spelling test...I am certainly NOT in the middle of a show and who cares that I asked you hours ago if you needed help with anything. At your beck and call my sweet angels!

Whats that you say?? You don't feel like playing in the soccer game today?? It is too cold? OH OK you stay in bed while your dad goes to the game and coaches it...I wouldn't want you to have to run or kick the ball especially when you are so delicate and all....I mean wrestling with your sister and jumping from couch to couch should be enough exercise for you today.