Greeting Cards Do Not Equal Love.

I have never been a greeting card person. I don't see cards at the store and think of someone and and I certainly don't buy cards and send them for every occasion. To me cards are brightly colored paper with someone elses words written on them. I can easily write a whole page of my own words to express my thoughts and feelings for special people and sometimes I do. Chris and I have even made a private joke of my distaste for cards. He buys me cards and purposely doesn't sign them. I do the same for him. We keep them in a giant box and, on occasion, reuse them for other people.

My in-laws are definately greeting card people. They religiously send cards for birthdays complete with the date and signature. Most of the time they get the right general time of their only three grandchildren's birthdays. Most of the time they put the right name on the front of the envelope. You might say what is so noteworthy of a grandparent sending a card? Well it wouldn't be and really it shouldn't be but unfortunately it is. It is so noteworthy because the card is basically it. There are no phone call's on the special day. No visit complete with a hug and a present. Nothing. Just a card within a few days of their birthday's. They live close. By close I mean 15 minutes away. My husband is an only child. There are no excuses.

Sometimes a situation plays out over so many years that the emotions that were so clear and extreme have faded into an expected numbness. They manage to see the kids 3 or 4 times a year. Mostly over the holidays mixed with other relatives and lots of fanfare filled with gifts and celebration. Never time for a conversation to find out the kids interests or personalities. Never a moment to realize the girls are growing up and have become such individuals. Never any desire for that. In the beginning I made an effort but it was so one sided that I eventually gave up. There is simply no way to force someone to be involved in your children's life. Honestly why should you have too anyway? Someday soon when they blink and realize that the girls are learning to drive and graduating from high school and even getting married they might realize what they have missed overthe years. I doubt they will though. I think they will just buy an ever so appropriate greeting card and send it on it's way.