Lessons in Losing

Soccer season came to an abrupt end over the weekend for my 3rd grader. Actually a sort of crash and burn. We went into the game undefeated. Full of confidence.. actually over confident. We lost. Faces all flushed and sweaty were now filled with tears and blame. Besides being defeated on the field the kids felt defeated inside. Finding a way to make children understand that losing is an inevitable part of life is almost an impossible feat. Almost as impossible as it is to get them to understand that there actually is a positive side to losing.

Being a winner obviously has better connotations that being a loser. When you win you hear cheers and you get hoisted up on people's shoulders. You feel bigger, stronger and faster. When you lose you get a lump in your throat and want to hide under a rock. In that moment of the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat it is impossible to step back and realize what exactly you learn from your experience. You just want the title of winner. Sometimes being the loser is actually winning in a backwards sort of way. Digging deep and seeing the mistakes we make can strengthen our minds and our attitudes. Learning why we lost and what we can do different is one of those things you can't take a way from a victory.

Losing is like an invaluable window into a person's character development. It means facing humility straight on without letting it define your identity. It means no excuses, no blaming, no self-pity. It means being able to say congratulations in a sincere way. It means understanding that the outcome can not be changed but that that doesn't have to hold you back from future endeavors. Being able to pick up the pieces and push forward is a vital lesson that can be applied to so many parts of life. Practice makes perfect even when it comes to losing.