The other day one of my kids decided to wear two different socks to school. Another wore cowboy boots with sweatpants. At one time this would have sent me into a tailspin. When the girls wore little cutsie outfits with frilly bows were a must. Mommy and me classes and comparing developmental milestones were the norm. They seemed important. Back then what people thought of my parenting seemed so attached to what they thought of my children. Over the years my parenting has morphed into a more laid back style. I have realized that giving the kids choices in every aspect of their lives gives them depth and diversity. It creates individuality and self reliance. When they make mistakes it gives them the chance to create solutions that will hopefully help them when they face similar problems later. When I hear other parents say that their kid is the most perfect athlete or the smartest child out there I worry that they are setting them up for failure. NO one is perfect 100% of the time and I can't imagine the pressure an expectation like that puts on a child. I want my kids to set tough but obtainable goals that they feel comfortable working towards. People on the outside might think I have gotten lackadaisical over the years but to me that refers to being lazy or not caring. I prefer to describe myself as relaxed and flexible but supportive and encouraging. I want my children to grow up to be independent self starters with an affinity for diversity and the ability to find solutions within themselves.
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