Pay No Attention to the Crazy Lady Behind the Curtain

I am having one of those parental conundrums and I feel like the joke is on me. It is like I can't step up to the plate and make the choices I need to make. I keep trying to get there but I keep slipping and falling in the mud. Inside my brain I still feel like I am the kid and not the parent. I want to hide in the corner and let the real adult take over. Instead here I am covered in mud and trying make decisions that will affect my children now and for the rest of their lives. One slip and I might end up with a bank robber or a hooker in the making. Obviously I am exaggerating a tiny bit but the reality is that the choices seem just that crucial. Maybe I should just fall back on all that training I received before I had children to assure that I would be a good parent. That test I had to take to get that license to prove I could parent with the best of them. OHHH that is right, parents don't need a license like fisherman do to catch FISH and real estate agents need to sell HOUSES. You give birth to a HUMAN BEING and two days later you get sent home to practice fly by the seat of your pants parenting..making it up as you go relying on our own perceptions other then a predetermined plan. The poor first kid is the voodoo doll that you practice with all your unsolicited tips as needles and if they survive and come out unscathed you might consider having a second child. Unfortunately each little voodoo doll is made of a unique material and the same needles that worked on your first certainly won't be as effective on your second or subsequent children. Sometimes all you can do is throw caution to the wind and learn from your mistakes. Luckily kids are much more resilient then their parents.