The Facts of Life Really are All About You!

Tomorrow in the 4th grade they are going to separate the boys and girls and show the health film about changing bodies and hair growing and periods. It is probably the same film that we all saw when we were in 4th grade 30 years ago. A lot of the moms around here were very concerned about the content of the film..they were worried about the mention of sexual intercourse and how they would talk about HIV and AIDS. Some went to the preview for parents to make sure that the information was appropriate. Don't get me wrong I think it is fine to go and check out what your child will see especially if you are going to use that information to promote communication. I guess my question is what are you going to do if you don't like the information?? Not let them watch at school with their classmates? I am happy that they are showing the film. I think it opens a lot of doors for questions and for kids whose parents have never mentioned any of it it gives them at least the basic information so they are totally freaked out. My mom never told me a thing. A lot of women my age I have talked to were never told a thing either. Must have been a generational trend. I am totally in the school of thought that sex education should be taught in school. I even think (GASP) that in high school birth control should be available at school. I am not one that thinks having the condoms sitting there will make kids want to have sex. I think that kids will already be having sex and the condoms will cause one less of them to become pregnant or infected with a disease. I know a lot of you are saying but that should be talked about at home. I totally agree and I plan to talk about it BUT most people will not talk about it at home or if they do they will say DON'T HAVE SEX and that will be it. Some of you are saying teenagers should not be having sex, but they are, so we should educate them to protect themselves. I believe that education and information breeds power and confidence and children who have power and confidence over their own bodies are less likely to engage in risky sexual behavior. I know we all want to believe our children will remain virgins until they are married. Me too! However, I am realist and I remember when I was 16 and in love. When your child tells you that you may think they are too young or they don't know what they are talking about but no matter what you might think those feelings are real to them. Unless you put a leash on your teenager there is no way to be certain they are following whatever guidelines you have put in place in your house. As a matter of fact forget 16 year-olds, on a recent Oprah they were talking to 12-14 year-olds and they had all engaged in some sort of sexual behavior already!!
As much as you want to imagine your child as the little girl (or boy) that you remember with no front teeth and trouble tying their shoes it is time to wake up and see them for the curious individuals that they are becoming...no more umbilical cords. Create an environment where they feel able to disclose things without repercussions or consequence. Let them know that you might not agree with all the choices they make but you will be there for them to talk to and you will always love them.