Home Sweet Home.

My parents are contemplating putting their house up for sale. This is not just their house but the home that I lived in from the time I was 7 until I was 21. This house holds so many memories I don't even know where to start. I guess the beginning is a good place. We actually closed on the house on my 7th birthday. I remember having pizza with my family on the floor with paper plates and candles. I remember my first day of 2nd grade so clearly it could have been yesterday. Walking out that door, pigtails bouncing, down the steps to the brick path. When I see pictures of that day now I see myself as an almost mirror image of my daughter,Olivia, who is in 2nd grade this year. I remember playing all day,every day, in the back yard making mud pies and climbing the clubhouse in the mulberry tree. I remember when a new family moved into the red house across the street. We peaked out our windows watching the moving van and hoping beyond hope that it was little girls that were moving in. Those girls became our friends and we spent years playing barbies and sharing secrets. I remember when our next door neighbor's had a new baby girl who was so tiny and cute. I babysat her for years and watched her grow. Just last year I went to her baby shower to celebrate her first child! I remember the first time Chris walked in the door of that house at 15. He walked in and his eyes met mine and that was pretty much all she wrote, we have been together ever since. I remember having my own baby shower on the deck overlooking the goldfish pond and surrounded by the many plants and birds that flourish there. I have images of my three girls toddling around there, snuggling with their Mimi and Poppie and frolicking in the yard with their cousins. Every holiday holds a new memory waiting to happen in the Garden Road house. I understand my parents need someplace smaller and easier to take care of in my head but my heart is sad . I know it isn't the place but the people that make the memories but it is hard to let go of the past and move toward the future. Gosh if I am already feeling this way and they are only starting to think about selling how will I deal when they actually do???

A Plan for a Tan

When the April showers come and start to turn to May flowers it is time to start planning for summer activities. I start to panic that the kids are going to sit and whine and be bored so I tend to over sign up for things. The last few summers we have done camps and lessons pretty much every week. By the end of the summer we are all so exhausted that going back to school feels like a break. This summer I am trying to convince myself that it would be more relaxing and beneficial to just hang out and let the kids sleep in and play all day. It doesn't help that Caroline wants to sign up for every camp she sees regardless of time commitment or cost. Then there is the other side of the coin, what if we decide to just hang out and the kids are bored and drive me and each other crazy all summer. I guess at this point it is the lesser of two evils. Then again what I really think matters it that the girls are growing so fast and time is escaping left and right. Before I know it, spending the summer with mom is going to be passé. There will be pool parties and driving lessons and boyfriends and best friends that will fill their warm long summer days. I am leaning toward drastically reducing our activities and lounging together listening to their giggles in the sun.

Kicking Adversity in the Stomach.

On a daily basis I take for granted the health and ability of my children. Sometimes it takes seeing someone who faces daily struggles yet remains optimistic for me to appreciate what I have at my fingertips. My five year old can dress herself and fix herself breakfast. She can write her name and dial her phone number. She is beginning to create her own independence in the usual path. Sometimes people have to create their own unique path to independence when they are born with challenges. I would like you to take a moment to look at this site http://www.littlemustardseed.org/Home.html and read the story of Eva. Eva is the relative of a dear friend of mine. She is a little girl almost the same age as Amelia. She was born with Cerebral Palsy and has faced much adversity in her short life. Cerebral Palsy is a lifelong condition that insurance companies and our meager health care system loosely cover and families often have to finance all necessary therapies and devices. It is hard to imagine that a specially equipt wheel chair that will surly make Eva's life more complete cost's as much as the family car!

Not ME Monday!

Continuing on with the NOT me Monday tradition started by Mckmama over at My Charming Kids. Baby Stellan is still in the ICU and my thought are still with him and his whole family!

I could never have caught my heel on a step and fallen on my sore knee...NOPE not me and definitely NOT after a few glasses of wine.

I certainly didn't ditch volunteering in the 2nd grade simply because I dislike the teacher and hate making all her copies and transparencies on the humongo Xerox machine.

I would never have taken Amelia to her five year old Dr appointment fearing her reaction to her shots only to be pleasantly surprised by her not only watching as the needle went in but not crying even a drop ...NOPE that would have been a miracle.

Chris's flight could never have been delayed and delayed and delayed again and he could have never have gotten home at 3:30 am that would have been crazy especially when we had to watch my sister's two kids in the morning and he had to coach a soccer game.

I could never have taken four kids to a soccer game and I could have never been chasing the 2 year old while the two 5 year olds decided to play in a huge mud puddle nope not ME!

My sister certainly didn't move 2 miles from me and I am NOT at all happy about it!

Why Search for a Unicorn if Unicorns don't Exist??

For 20 years I have tried so hard to be agreeable with my in-laws. I have followed my upbringing and been mannerly and cordial. I have bent beyond what I thought I could to fit into their schedule and the mold of their holidays. They are never happy. They are never thankful. They never consider the fact that we have three children who are in tons of activities. They never seem to remember Chris travels a lot and sometimes we only have one day a week together as a family. Most importantly I think they have never faced the fact that Chris is a grown man. They decide what is going to happen and then inform us. Chris is an only child and has two aunts (on his mom's side..so his mom's sisters) who have no children. He is the only one. My girls are the only ones to fill the grandchild void for all those women. The problem is that their actual grandmother really doesn't like kids. She is scared of them and doesn't have any interest in them. She lives about 10 miles from us and sees the kids MAYBE 5 times a year and never without the rest of the family (her sisters) there. Chris's aunt who lives 2 hours away does like kids and has interest in them but doesn't have a clue about them. She always wants us to come to her house which entails traveling 2 hours to a museum-like house with NOTHING the kids can do and sitting there through 5 course meals on china that last for hours and hours. I have done this for 10 years since Caroline was born because I love Chris. I am done. Even when I comply to their intricate holiday plans they are not happy. When I try to shift the get together to our house where the kids have things to do they are obviously hurt and so ungracious that I always end up upset. They always bring lavish gifts when they see the kids so the girls think of that when they think of them. I hate that. I have come to the point where I can not do this any longer. I cannot try and try to make them happy at the expense of my family. I cannot continue to search for serendipity when I seriously don't think that exists for them. You might as well hunt unicorns.

Random Picture Challenge!

Playing along with the Random Picture Challenge over at 4 little men and girly twins! This is my February 2008 picture folder and my 33rd picture (actually I didn't have 33 so I just used the last picture in the folder!)
We took the girls to see Disney on Ice and this was after the show complete with crown and cotton candy! It was a fun day!

Two Sides to Every Story.

As the girls get older it is so interesting to watch their personalities emerge. Especially because they are all three so unique with such distinct strengths and weaknesses. Caroline has an affinity for math and loves to write but she can't spell worth a lick and is extremely jealous. Olivia is sweet and sensitive but she is a pack rat and doesn't like to brush her hair.
When you see your child struggle at something it is hard to remember that when there is a weakness there is a strength not far behind. In turn when your child does something so wonderful and genius you know that an area that is not so strong will surely show up soon. What got me thinking about this was the kindergarten evaluation they did at registration. Amelia scored high on the evaluation. Obviously a strength of hers is letters and numbers. Quickly followed by her inability to stick to one activity for more then a few minutes and her mean attitude. My nephew who also registered at the same school scored lower on the evaluation. He, on the other hand, can sit for hours putting a Lego set together by looking at the picture and can figure out the secrets in video game after playing them a few times. These things shape who they are and who they will be in the future. I think it is so important for kids to realize that everyone has both strengths and weaknesses. No one is perfect and no one is good at everything even if it sometimes seems that way.